What is the relationship between Family Constellation and money?

*** Interview with Maria Ximena Rodriguez, a Family Constellations Therapist.

Maria Ximena is a psychologist and a Family Constellations Therapist and she shares her knowledge from a Family Constellation perspective diving into the depths of how our ancestors and relationship with our parents can unconsciously block abundance and relationship with money. Originally from Colombia, she lives in Washington/DC for more than 15 years now. Our Founder Maira Miranda interviewed Maria for our Wowness Club Magazine - 1st edition in April 2023 and you can read the full interview HERE. Find below parts of this incredible conversation. 

"The abundance is an outcome in life. It's not only about money, it's about your health, it's about your relationships.".

Maira Miranda: Even though Family Constellation has been around for many years, it is not yet widely spread. I think there is still a big stigma around Therapy. Could you explain what Family Constellation is and some of the principles?

Maria Ximenez: I agree, there is a stigma to the name “ constellations”. Constellations sounds a little bit like “magic”. This therapy really has to do with properly structuring a system. In this case, the system is the family. Bert Hellinger introduced Family Constellations as a systemic therapy. The body of his work was mostly studying the hidden dynamics among the families, and how these dynamics can impact in our adult life and bring unconscious behaviours which can be affecting our career, our love and money relationship, and even our health. 

By looking into those family dynamics, we can find the source of those imbalances. Hellinger talks about the Orders of Love, which is not about the lack of love, but the lack of order.

The first order is Belonging. Everybody in our systems should have a place, whether they are good or bad. We need to integrate them into our story. The second order is Balance, the balance between giving and receiving which applies for all the systems we belong to. The third one is Hierarchy, from our parents, grandparents, to previous relationships, whoever came first in the system needs to have their place. We need to honour them. 

Maira Miranda: I understand that if we believe we didn’t receive enough in our main system, we project this into our life, our work, career and our relationships, correct? It is like you look to life from a scarcity mindset. Can you share the relationship of Family Constellation, crisis, abundance and money?

Maria Ximenez: The abundance is an outcome in life. It's not only about money, it's about your health, it's about your relationships. But the most important thing for me when we are talking about abundance or money is to be okay with the money, we have to think about our mother. I have a lot of clients who want to talk about the lack of money. I always begin with the mother. Because very often, there is a relationship between lack of money and lack of a mother. It's something like that when you don't take your mum. I'm talking about taking and giving because that one is the Order of Love from Bert Hellinger.

For example, when you have a relationship, you will want to receive everything that you didn't receive from your mum. Another example, you go to the job and you want a lot of things that you didn't have there in the past. So, you have to be in peace, at peace with your past, so you can be present in your present, and then you can go to the future.

Maira Miranda: Could you share some case studies of how hidden dynamics block abundance in people’s lives? 

Maria Ximenez: The first case was from a client who shared with me that she had become a workaholic and was always short of money. The first question I asked her was tell me more about your mother. I do this because I know that those who cannot embrace their mother will have a hard time being successful in life. This is manifested in the lack of balance between giving and receiving. In her case, she was giving too much at her work for very little pay. The hidden dynamics was that she was willing to give a lot searching for her lost mother. Once she realised what she unconsciously had been doing, her life began to change. By doing that, she discovered she could still honour her mother while running her life following her own path. In constellations, this is known as re-living the false self- awareness by repeating her mother’s paths. 

 In Family Constellation we have something called Blind Love, we become so loyal to our parents that we do exactly like them, even if we don’t like what they do or did.